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STARRING: Charmane Star (Kiomi), Felicia Fox (Natalie), Katie Morgan (Missy), Nicole Sheridan (Claire), Trina Michaels (Diamond), Kris Knight (Chris), Tee Reel (Leon), Manuel Ferrara (Larry), Mr. Pete (Jack), Voodoo (Ricardo), Al (Sexy Jogger), Mark Horner (Polaski), Lexi Lamour, Julia Ana (Sofia), Raquel and Eric Masterson (Stevens).
CREDITS: Directed by Stormy Daniels
MEMORABLE LINES: “Give me that big shiny black meat!” Trina Michaels
SCENE 1: “Girl On Top ” (Mike Horner, Julia Ana, Eric Masterson (all non-sexual), Felicia Fox and Kris Knight)
Most of the time, Stormy Daniels is a miss and never a hit for me. She likes producing vanilla porn mixed with some light-hearted humor and maybe some drama. But all in all, she cranks out so-so features that slip off your mind a few minutes after you jerk off. Such is the same fate that had befallen her recent forgettable opus “Private Eyes”.
A ripe-looking Felicia Fox plays Natalie Baker, a private investigator that had recently become the head of a top protection firm. Walking towards her office in corporate black, you know this bitch is up to no good. Acting like an adult entertainment Nancy Drew, she's an under-appreciated overachiever whom J. Polaski (a natural Mike Horner) ignores. She decides to assert herself so she can move up the corporate ladder. Instead of the usual route of sleeping with the suits, she relies on her spunk to get the job done. Her rival is Tommy Stevens (played by hammy and peroxide-haired Eric Masterson), the brown-nosing nephew of Polaski who gets the major assignments and is groomed to replace his uncle. But since this is porn, Natalie eventually gets herself into hot sticky situations.
The first sex scene is a rather dry toss-up between Natalie and fuck buddy Chris (an ineffectual Kris Knight). When Natalie wakes up topless in bed with Chris, the two duke it out for a morning time delight. During the course of this scene, I enjoyed looking at Natalie's naturally hefty breasts. Brimming with perkiness, I thought this is the only thing going for her in this movie. Chris starts the romance with breast worship. He then eats her pussy, supplementing that with a dildo. Most of the time, we see Chris plugging her vag while licking her clit. Natalie reciprocates with a BJ. I'm surprised that she has good cock sucking skills. But the real downer is when they start the sex. Natalie mounts Chris on a bouncy RC and semi-fiery spooning. Their sex looks awfully generic and mechanical that you decide to hit the “forward” button.
SCENE 2: “Working Undercover' (Felicia Fox, Mike Horner, Mark Masterson (non-sexual), Trina Michaels & Tee Reel )
Working on an insurance claim assignment, Natalie drives into a dark alley disguised as a prostitute. Though it's funny to note, that in her hot corset number, she looked more appropriate as a whore than a detective. She approaches the other prostitutes and waits for her target to appear. The target turned out to be a brother, Leon (Tee Real). After fending off his advances, the neck-braced Leon decided to get the next best thing: Diamond (played by an inconsequential Trina Michaels). The two approach Leon's car and proceed to make love. The sex is again unsatisfactory. Leon worships Diamond's boobs then Diamond sucks his cock. By the hood of his car, Leon takes off his neck brace and performs a doggy. Her boobs wiggle wildly as he thrusts. A sidesaddle and anal RC later, he strokes off on her face. All this time, Natalie retreats to her car and takes the incriminating photos. Even at this achievement, her boss is still unimpressed by her.
SCENE 3: “Japanese Dining” (Kris Knight, Felicia Fox (both non-sexual), Charmane Star & Manuel Ferrara)
Chris and Natalie decide to go on a date. With sushi on the menu, Natalie is not amused. Her real motive is to seek out and take photos of a philandering husband (Manuel Ferrara). The mistress turns out to be hot Oriental chick Charmane. As soon as Chris gets wind of what Natalie's intentions are, he storms off and leaves our Nancy Drew in rapt attention of the hot encounter happening nearby. Charmane and Manuel move to a private room where the dine on each other’s riches. First course is Manuel's boner as Charmane rather awkwardly services. Good thing, Manuel decides to cut to the chase and start with the porking. After donning his rubber, she mounts him on a rapid cowgirl, RC and spooning combo. Manuel's woodsman ship is exceptional as he is not only hung, he can jackhammer his way into anything with that king-sized dong! Charmane tries to keep up with him. Her body is soft, supple and voluptuous so her body glistens and jiggles in the right places as the fucking ensues. Manuel then unceremoniously eats her pussy like it's the Saturday Special. He then maneuvers to jackhammer fuck her backside. A few more “Yeah”, “Uh” and “Oh My God's" later, he shoots his load on her face and tits. Her mouth looks like a glazed donut. Natalie's mission is again successful.
SCENE 4: “Dognappers In Heat ” (Felicia Fox, Julia Ana, Eric Masterson (all non-sexual),Katie Morgan & Mr. Pete)
A client's royal Chinese pug is missing and it's up to an uneasy Natalie and Stevens to retrieve it. After a series of random leads, Natalie breaks into a house to find the dog. She meets up with Stevens and end up holing up in the closet as the dognappers had sex. Though this is the most comedic scene so far, Felicia and Eric didn't pull it off as expected. Katie and Mr. Pete's uninhibited performance, on the other hand, makes this one very enjoyable (and satisfying). Mr. Pete gets the ball rolling with a breast suck and pussy eating. He drives Katie crazy with his muff diving, slapping her mound and messing her pussy with his tongue. She's writhing in pleasure most of the time. She then goes down on his boner. She attacks that head like crazy. The sex starts with a spooning. Katie, as hardcore as they come, demands to be fucked harder. She says “fuck” like it’s punctuation between sighs and groans. Mr. Pete, happy to oblige, administers his jackhammer maneuver. Quite a rewarding stunt as it turns out. While his dick is still inside, he moves her for a jackhammer RC. Thus results an amazing three minutes. This is the best scene but unfortunately, it doesn't get any better. During bed-shaking doggy, Katie grows the words “harder” and “deeper”. Suddenly, he comes on her ass. While the two fuck birds go for another round in the showers, Natalie and Stevens steal away and retrieve the missing dogs. How they managed to find the dog, they never really show.
SCENE 5: “The Lusty Maid” (Voodoo (non-sexual) Nicole Sheridan and Felicia Fox)
Another assignment has Natalie wearing a maid's uniform. Having passably Latin features, she surely passes for the real thing. She's visits a mansion to investigate whether a client's lover – the pool boy (Voodoo) – is having an affair with the client's sister, Claire (a feisty Nicole Sheridan). Once she successfully goes inside the property (a little too easily), we find Claire already soaking in the tub. She calls out for Maria, but the help isn't around. Natalie then decides to approach Claire and do what a maid should do. Little did she know that in this household, the maids get up close and personal with their employers. What results is an amusing g/g that includes fun with strap-ons. They undress and start liberating their big boobies. There's a funny moment as Claire gives instructions and Natalie keeps on saying “Si, Si”. Claire kisses Natalie's boobs and jerks Natalie's cunt. Natalie bends over as Claire administers a dildo doggy. Natalie starts screaming in pleasure. Claire takes off her strap-on bikini so that Natalie can dine on her wet cunt. Later, Claire shows her appreciation by licking the hired help's clit and finger fucking her pussy with a four-finger salute. Natalie takes her turn to eat Claire's muff by tongue fucking Claire. Both girls are expert muff eaters. There's no money shot here. So when Claire gets tired, she asks Natalie if she does windows.
After the g/g, Natalie follows the pool boy, Ricardo. He has kidnapped the nosy Stevens and is about to kill him. Good thing, she intervenes just in time and saves the day.
SCENE 6: “Office Quickie “ (Felicia Fox & Eric Masterson)
We have a sex finale that's not as exciting as I would have hoped. After a hokey realization that Natalie is a worthy partner, Stevens backs down and shares the business to Natalie. After a subplot where the two finally admit their attraction for one other, they decide to become partners of the business. After everything has been said and done, we have a corny happy ending. But not without a final toss-up. Inside her office, Natalie and Stevens get it on finally. Stevens kneels down and starts eating her pussy. He uses his tongue slowly but hard to bear down on her uptight twat. He finger fucks her, excavating her pussy goodness. She reciprocates with a bj. Soon came doggy, the slow then bouncy RC, and a mish. Nothing special here. So when Stevens finally releases his jism into Natalie's belly, I was already tuning out. But boy, does Natalie have a nice pair of naturally large kachungas.