The Nice, The Naughty and The BadFavorites [+]
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Chasey Lain (Olivia), Jeanna Fine (Sissy), Jill Kelly, Tom Byron (Carl), Steven St. Croix (Blake), Tony Tedeschi, Joey Silvera (Alan) and Bobby Vitale
CREDITS: Directed by Michael Zen
MEMORABLE LINES: “Sugar, come over here and get your pussy.” Jill Kelly
In a sleazy-looking singles bar, a goateed Alan (Joey Silvera) mentors Olivia, a hot young ambitious ad exec (Chasey Lain) with dreams of the Big Time. Olivia seems to be purring her lines and I can barely understand her. A very drunk and disheveled Blake (Steven St. Croix) barges in and catches both their attention. Alan tells her that Blake used to be a hotshot in the advertising industry. But his life has turned for the worse when he paid the price for being a lousy adulterer.
As Alan relates the story, we find ourselves in a poolside retreat where a pre-silicone Jill Kelly, in a skimpy pink two-piece bikini, lies down in luxury. After bathing herself with suntan oil, she shows us her neat tight pussy. She pulls out a thin vibrator for some hot self-loving! Blake finally arrives and sees what she's doing. Blake licks her, scuttling her to the rich wetlands of Ecstasy Ville. Then he leads her to a slow doggy, then moving in for a fast and furious ride. The soundtrack can only be too cheesy, playing like a blue movie from the Seventies complete with a saxophone solo. Then after a mish, Blake shoots his load on her breast. Jill acts terribly ham as Blake leaves her even after she surprises him with a cake.
In one of the more interesting scenes, Eric visits his wife, Sissy (played by a wonderful Jeanna Fine) for a lunch stopover. She does a twisted version of Martha Stewart (or a June Cleaver): subservient, manic, dutiful and oh so repressed. While serving a perfect roast of chicken, she demands more sex. From the expression on her face and the tone of her voice, Sissy has a deep yearning. So much so that she couldn't wait for Blake to finish his chicken that she starts taking her clothes off. She unleashes her boobs and a pair of inhibiting (almost bondage-like) pantyhose. She makes a desperate plea. Sissy rummages through her crotch, hoping to find some pleasure. Rubbing her pussy in plain view, she makes a very erotic and quite artistically framed masturbation scene. Blake, being a masochist, simply continues eating his meal, inexplicably refusing to give her what she wants.
We go back to the present. After Alan excuses himself, Olivia takes the opportunity to approach Blake and seduce him. When Blake sees her, his manic gaze gives way to recognition. He knows her, but he tries pushing whatever thought he had of her away. Olivia teases a bit more by showing her crotch.
In a confusing flashback, we go back to find Olivia in another bar, where almost in public view, she goes down on Carl (Tom Byron) An ad exec of some clout, he supposedly promises great things for her. Though her oralizing is timid, Carl makes do with the situation by playing with her cunt. After he comes on her breasts, a neat-looking Blake arrives to chastise her. Olivia leaves in a huff.
We return again to the present where we see Alan continue Blake's story. The reason for Blake's madness was caused by someone (Olivia, as shown, being the culprit again) switching gifts to both his girlfriend and wife. When the housewife receives the vibrators and lacy panties (instead of the electric mixer), this set off a series of events that would supposedly turn tragic. In so doing, the switcheroo has caused ill effects. “The madonna has become the slut. The slut becomes the madonna.” Not quite an accurate depiction from what was uttered, but you get the drift.
Sissy starts recreating her own raunchy version of a Desperate Housewife as she takes on the plumber (Tony Tedeschi) and telephone repairman (Bobby Vitale). Sissy lightens the mood by trying to service both guys separately, until both guys converge for a hot thrilling threesome. We are treated with a finger cuff madness (mish, doggy and dildo). Jeanna Fine demonstrates great skills in both acting and sexual feats. Sissy is a great cocksucker. Giving these guys a taste of domestic bliss, she sucks them like a Hoover, eating their schlongs like extra helpings of breakfast sausages. Her performance made up for the generally lackluster display the others have made. Her male co-stars aren't chopped liver either. Tony and Bobby have great woodsmanship and managed to assuage Sissy's lust for hot cum. After the sex, Blake arrives on time to see his wife in bed with two strangers. That sight may have caused him to go loco. Yeah, right!
We move back to the present where we're just in time for Alan and Olivia to start their own haymaking. Alan eats Olivia's great big wet pussy. He shakes his head in approval as his face is buried in her crotch. He lets loose fingerfucking and an amusing sideways muff eating. Olivia starts jerking him off with some strokes and breast banging. The succeeding sex is a sticky combo of mish, and a cowgirl. He soon jerks him off in full view of her tits.
Olivia suddenly has the upper hand as she records their conversation to blackmail him. The scheming bitch is out to destroy the men folk! She meets up with her conspirators: Sissy and Jill, to celebrate their triumph over their male oppressors and begin a mildly stimulating three way g/g. Expect muff eating, breast licking and finger cuffing with French manicures. Their asses get inspected and stuffed with dildos. They mutually beat off on each other until Kelly brings herself to an orgasm, or what she appears to be having.
In the end, we find Allan turned into a blithering idiot, or someone who tries to act like Robert De Niro in “Awakenings”.
All in all, it's an average movie that should have been better as a straight comedy. Just go straight to Jeanna Fine scenes and you'll do just fine. Watch out for another mildly interesting set of outtakes in the movie. I don't know why they bother doing it anyway. They're not even funny.